I remember wishing on stars when I was younger. I sometimes still do, but my wishes are more mature. Back then, I wished for childish things. A new doll, a video game, to be a genius, a 100% discount at Barnes and Noble (I still wish for that!), and another one of my bigger wishes was to not be bullied. I'm no longer bullied, but it still brings back those memories. Usually, my bullies would call me fat or stupid. Despite what they said, I was a straight A student, and was at a healthy weight. I was just taller than most of them. Still, it ruined my self-esteem, and I usually found different excuses for when I came home crying. (Sad, but if I got them in trouble, I was dead meat at school the next day.) The bullies were all following one kid though. He hated me because I was the teacher's favorite. I was Mrs.B's Student of the Month at least 4 times in 1st grade, and in 2nd grade, 5 times. So all the popular bullies were jealous of me until a new girl arrived in 3rd grade. She was not only their leader, she was the apple of the former leader's eye. She never bullied anyone, and she was an angel in a group of devils. We were never close friends because she was too popular. You can't spend quality time with a popular person. They talk with you for 2 minutes, then every other follower gets their turn. She was my role model. (Now, I don't have a role model. I depend on myself to be amazing.) It's sad how much those bullies made me cry, and then I didn't want to leave my home when my Mom got a new job. On top of that, I've been through some traumatizing things. At least, it built character. So I keep wishing to go back, and stand up for myself. (I'd rather punch all those bullies in the face, but I'd have a bad reputation if I were a violent person.) Stars have done nothing for me though. The past still matters so I can't ignore it.
Don't turn away, don't give in to the pain. Don't try to hide, though they're screaming your name. Don't close your eyes, God knows what hides behind them. Don't turn out the light, never sleep, never die.
- Evanescence
